Sharing a one of my writings…

Villain of My Own Story
By N.G. Kinsella

I am the villain in my own story,
The blockade to the revolution within,
Stalling the evolution of my outward self.

Too much time spent on jagged thoughts,
Lost in the enigma of others’ lives,
Too much mind wasted, believing
I am anything but good, unique, whole.

Embracing my sadness like a familiar wave,
Or A letter from an old friend.
I Wrap myself in it like cocoon.
Meant to transform into a butterfly, a winged jewel.

Yet, I emerge a moth, attracted to the warmth of others.
I reflect what they see and mimic the fragments I think they wish to know.
I am lost in a cycle portraying a character I was never meant to be.
Yet another turn in the wheel, my wings start to tear and I wonder: Why do I deserve this?

Am I not enough? Am I not real?
I wander within my mind, an old dark room, with a bed, and walls without windows.
Encased in tape and tattered shreds of my prior versions.
I yearn to morph into that winged jewel.

But no… I emerge moth yet again.
Another facade drawn to their light.
And thus, I remain
The villain in my own story.